Disclaimer: The following article is an opinion. Readers are urged to consider their unqiue situation and make intelligent decisions. The author cannot be held liable for choices readers make.
When it comes to birth, we don’t need experts. Childbirth is not a complicated process and the majority of the population could birth without so-called experts. Unfortunately, a majority of women refuse to believe that they are physically capable of birthing outside a hospital, without a doctor or midwife.
Because they cling to firmly held birth beliefs, there is little hope for changing the hearts and minds of women who depend upon experts to assist or bring about the birth of their children.
Who are the experts?
We could say that experts are those who have received formal training and experience (such as a doctor, midwife, medical professional) as well as anyone who positions themselves to make someone think they hold the answers and solutions to a particular problem or situation. An expert and someone who seeks the services of that expert are not in an equal position. Therefore, the person seeking the opinion or treatment is in a submissive or subservient role to the expert.
What do the experts do for us?
Experts in a chosen field have the ability to help those truly in need. We should be grateful for the contribution experts have made as far as research, expertise for those who need it, and information that can be used by the masses. Alternative childbirth researchers estimate that approximately 5% of the population truly need C-sections. Others with medical problems might require an expert during the prenatal or postpartum period and many argue that perception plays a large part in the real need for medical advice or treatment.
What are the experts motivated by? Motives may include: money, research, ego, pushing science to its extreme, drugging patients as a way to curb their assumed misery, successful business practices and reputation. Experts’ priorities are most likely not the same as your priorities. Pleasing the hospital or insurance company, striving for a higher paycheck, and avoiding litigation are not putting the customers needs first. A doctor who is first and foremost thinking of litigation means that his patients are potential enemies.
Will the experts share secrets for success? Can you really count on the experts? How many times have you known women to arrive for their birth and find that another doctor (not of their choice) announces that he or she will be their birth attendant? How many women do you know end up getting added “extras” (such as an epidural, pitocin, internal monitor or a C-section) during the final moments of birth, especially when they’ve communicated other intentions to the experts they hired?
Experts may not want you becoming a mini-expert to make their job easier. As they see it, they’ve got a job to do and are well qualified to do it, “thank you very much.”
Lay midwives or any birth professional bring their fears and past experience to your birth. We are the sum total of our experiences and we cannot be sure whether the expertise coming our way is the kind of competence we will need for our unique birth.
Why do we seek experts?
(1) We seek experts because we believe that they can give us
something we don’t have, be it information, treatment or equipment. Many American women perceive childbirth to be complex, requiring certain equipment or resources.
(2) We seek experts when we think something is too complex or specialized; we are searching for a highly skilled or trained professional.
(3) . Many women perceive that childbirth will always be excruciatingly painful and that we want to avoid it at all costs, especially with drugs.
(4) . “We might as well go to an obstetrician because that’s what the rest of the culture does.” Social conditioning fails us because we’re taught to look up to the experts, while disregarding our thoughts, desires and dreams. “Show respect, do not offend, be conformant.”
My sister once asked me a very insightful question: “Doctors have had many years experience to build on. Don’t you think they have ironed out a lot of learning to bring themselves to a point of almost pure expertise when it comes to childbirth?” The implied message was that how could I disregard the already existing perfect knowledge and choose to serve as my own expert? I am also reminded of the midwife who once said, ”There’s more to birth than just reading a few books and having a positive attitude. Women need a caring, loving, skilled attendant at their births.”
I have come to this conclusion: Let’s assume that every goal of a birth outcome is for a healthy baby. Picture train tracks. Train tracks have two parallel rails, separated or linked together by railroad ties, which run perpendicular to those tracks. The medical profession represents one side of the train tracks and alternative birthers, the other. We are all seeking the same destination, but we are getting there in our own separate ways. Occasionally we share information. Unfortunately, alternative birthers are not given as much credibility as the “professionals.” Who’s to say that one person or method is more valid than another?
What happens to those who employ experts?
For starters, the mother, father and baby are not in control of their own birth. The doctor is the problem-solver and patient must obey instructions. Patients may get bullied into taking drugs, tests, even having an abortion. If pregnancy is not desired, artificial birth control is expected of any woman who consults a typical gynecologist. A few doctors have proclaimed to me that the pill is “God’s gift to women” and often do not know or care about natural fertility methods.
Well-baby visits make you think that you need an expert to give his seal of approval for your child’s development. When we question convention or the experts, we are sometimes treated as if we are unwise or wrong. Parents who decide to forgo vaccinations for their children are often seen as a health threat, uneducated or rebellious. In extreme cases, the Department of Social Services poses as experts by intervening in cases where it thinks parents are neglectful or nonconformist.
When we feel uneasy about going to the hospital for birth (as a result of relinquishing our power), we are not only separated from the home, but we have deliberately chosen to separate ourselves from our intuition and knowledge – our own internal resources. We are failing ourselves by not being true to ourselves. What we are doing is not giving ourselves much credit and passing ourselves to someone else to take care of us. We set up an unequal relationship – we sort of tip the balance scale in favor of the experts who will make all final decisions. Those who turn to experts throughout pregnancy and birth must now find new experts for childrearing as well as other aspects of their lives.
Women need to take back their power. The most troubling fact of all is that women are not taught or encouraged to go deep inside themselves and birth with strength and confidence. We really need a strong mental attitude to give birth – every cell in our bodies and every ounce of energy. And what do the experts want to do? – lay us down, examine us, drug us, hook us up to electrical equipment, and tell us to perform within a certain time-frame. We are tampered with when we go to experts.
What we can do
It is crucial to wean ourselves from experts by gaining confidence and knowledge, which diminishes fear and helplessness. Recognize that we can adapt whatever parts of medical research which will help us achieve a successful birth. Although I do not desire a midwife during birth, I found many good ideas from Sheila Kitzinger’s books, especially about what to do in emergencies or tough situations.
There will always be periods of doubt while preparing for a couples birth, but try to continue on. Many of us doubt and question many aspects of our lives – it’s a natural part of living. Even though we may become knowledgeable about childbirth, the key is in changing our attitudes and perceptions. Many women take good quality birth classes or talk with those who have had satisfying, unmedicated births, yet they opt for an epidural or end up with a C-section. It’s because they have not successfully worked through fears, inhibitions, and deep beliefs. They will not release the chains that bind them because it’s easier to cling to comfortable, unpleasant ideas than it is to venture into the unknown. All the education in the world will not change firmly held beliefs.
We need to build confidence to move forward in life so that we can really feel that we don’t need experts, because for most births, we’re much better off without the experts. Mistakes, harm and even death occurs during the millions of hospital births each year. Experts are failing us every day!
What we gain
By becoming our own experts at birth, we become more intimately involved in life – in our families. Becoming experts enables us to be more independent and self-sufficient. This makes us less draining on society; we won’t need others for something we can do ourselves. When we see ourselves as experts, maybe we’ll want to spend more time doing things that we previously sought experts for.
Satisfying moments in life where we did not employ experts – such as an unassisted homebirth - inspire a sense of pride. When we view an experience as a failure, we struggle with guilt, blame and self-worth issues. All of these things move us towards introspection and a fuller, richer life.
The greatest possible gain from childbirth is intangible – always overlooked by medicalized birth, but extremely important to relationships. And that is the opportunity for couples to solidify their union with each other. Spouses make a commitment to each other for a lifetime. Rather than form a union with a doctor or midwife that is the equivalent of an impersonal, casual, short-lived affair, couples need to look no farther than themselves for a birth that is almost always safe, joyous and everlasting. How can a husband and wife truly reach a communion with obstetricians and nurses barking commands during a medicalized birth?
Lynn M. Griesemer’s first four births were with four different obstetricians in four different hospitals. She thought her search for a better birth included finding a better expert in a different setting. She has learned much more about birth abandoning the experts and birthing at home, alone with her husband. She does not desire to become a midwife, childbirth educator or labor assistant, but instead, considers herself a “birth philosopher.” She believes that almost any healthy, motivated, informed couple can have their baby in the absence of experts.
Lynn M. Griesemer is the author of Unassisted Homebirth: An Act of Love (1998) and Your Body, Your Birth: Secrets for a Satisfying and Successful Birth (2007). Your Body, Your Birth is available through Amazon.com in MP3 format. Visit http://www.yourbodyyourbirth.org to purchase “The Childbirth Success Kit,” which provides information guaranteed to help women achieve a successful and satisfying birth experience. http://www.unassistedhomebirth.com/ChildBirthSuccessKit.html.
Lamaze(R) Childbirth educator discussing why people might consider taking childbirth classes (also known as prenatal classes) during their pregnancy.
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